b) Leviticus 20---Homosexuals should be executed, children who curse a parent should be executed, people who cheat on a spouse should be executed. This would help traffic a great deal, but it's still stupid.
c) Leviticus 21---Blind people should not be allowed to worship God. Stevie Wonder just called to say this is stupid.
b) Creating an image of anything God created is a sin. So Michelangelo is in hell for doing that ceiling???
c) Saying "God damn it" is just as bad as killing someone. Plus it's higher on the list.
d) Working a second job on Sundays to make ends meet is punishable by death.
e) Your parents are always right, even though most of them these days are either idiots or assholes or deadbeats.
f) Do not kill. Unless it's the Crusades, The Spanish Inquisition, a molestation victim of a priest, The Salem Witch Trials, falsely accused black people in the Deep South, Jews in Nazi Germany, or dragging a gay kid behind a pickup truck. Then please go ahead and kill.
g) No premarital sex, no cheating on your spouse, no masturbation, no oral sex, no anal sex, no birth control, no sex with married people if you're not married. But please ignore the pedophilia, the parents who can't afford so many children, the condemning of divorced people, the coverups of the sexual predator ministers, and the televangelists who used to be gay and/or have hired sex workers.
h) Don't steal. This one should stay.
i) Don't bear false witness. This one should stay too...except American culture revolves around lying. Your baby is cute, no your butt doesn't look fat, yes it was good for me, I had a good time and I will call you. No officer I was not speeding, no boss I was not late this morning, the dog ate my homework, she's not prettier than you, it was on sale. I love it when your parents visit, you don't have too many shoes, and I did not have sexual relations with that woman. So....who's going to run Congress if God sends all the liars to hell?
j) Don't covet thy neighbor's house. Even though coveting stimulates the economy, and without it, we would all die.
Moses was an idiot.
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